Tuesday 29 October 2013

GiGi and the Cat- Don Churchillion and the Litany Bird

Dearest Em,

Well the week begins with a great big storm! You bumped your head, and we are still awaiting the arrival of your new baby sister. So let's divert ourselves and get another chapter drafted- over to you Em for your perusal...

BY THIS TIME, GiGi had given up being surprised at anything that happened here-abouts, as she walked away from the shop and her older self and Emily who continued their chattering and laughing.
She walked down a hill in what she considered a likely direction back towards the house and the Bored Meeting. Suddenly the Champagne bottle came rolling down the hill, knocking her off her feet and shouting 'whooahhh!' as it headed towards a tree. There it stopped, and was promptly joined by a Magpie, who pecked away at the top until it had managed to get the bottle upright. GiGi now saw that the bottle was a sort of man- well, it had a man's head anyhow. The bottle-man was laughing and looked straight through her.


GiGi stood up, dusted herself off, and thought she might just be ready for an apology. She waited, arms crossed.

"It's very provoking" the Bottle Man said, after a long silence, looking away from GiGi as he spoke "to be stared at, with crossed arms as well, very!"

"I", began GiGi... "Well; I just thought you might perhaps be about to apologise for knocking me over!"

"Some people", said the Bottle Man- looking at a tree "expect all the wrong things. No common-sense- none whatsoever!" GiGi didn't quite know what to make of this last sentence, or how to speak further with this 'person' whose glance suggested he was addressing a tree rather than her. However, he, and the Magpie, were rather crossing her path, and she deliberated going around them perhaps, whilst standing a while in thought.

Whilst doing so, the words of the poem she had first started reading at the house, came back to her and she pieced them together and spoke them out loud;

Twasn't brillig, as the Slithey Toves,
All growled and gambled, and were grave.
All whimsy were her Borogoves,
And the Home-Rath's dismayed.

"Beware the 'Ware-of-All" my Girl!
The mouth that snipes, the claws that snatch,
Beware the Monstrous Crow, and Shun,
The frumious Can-all-Snatch!"

She took her Besum Broom in hand,
Long time the vexome for she sought-
So rested she, by the Purgatree,
And stood a while in thought

And as in faffing thought, she stood,
The ware-of-all, with eyes aflame,
Came baffling through the tulgy-wood,
And murmured as it came!

One-two! One two! And through 
The besum-broom went snicker-snack!

Just then, the man looked her straight in the eyes, and said:-

"Oh, that's not the end of that poem you know, there are a clear two and a half more verses, and- don't just stand there chattering away to yourself, pray tell us your name and state your Business here!"

" My name is GiGi, and I have no Business here that I know of, at least, I don't think so".

"You don't think!" said the man. "Well, that's rather stupid! One ought to think, at the very least. What is more- of course- you have Business here, else you wouldn't be here! Why, I am Don Churchillion, and I know my Business, and so, my girl- should you!".

Just then, the bird decided to stop pecking at Don Churchillion's head. He spoke-

"I am Litany Magpie, and I; know my Business, and Don Churchillion's Business, and your Business, and Tweedleton's Business, and the Business of Franklin D Rarebit, and Business concerning Harpy Lapette. I also know the Business of the Slithey Tove, and Ethan Safertee's Business is known to me. The Business of the Cautionary Tail is second to none in my knowledge. The Business of the Lily, and the Rosebuds and the Daisies are all of my known. Mrs Cameraman's Business and that of Alice in her helping, are of my own deep regard. I, make it my Business to know about the Business of all about here. Business information is shiny and like treasure. Each pearl, I could string into a necklace of wisdom about your throat!"

GiGi interjected here. "Excuse me, but did you say that you knew my Business, and Mrs Cameraman's Business? Please tell me what they are?"

Litany replied, "No. I said- ' I am Litany Magpie, and I; know my Business  and Don Churchillion's Business, and your Business, and Tweedleton's Business, and the Business of Franklin D Rarebit, and Business concerning Harpy Lapette."

Don Churchillion cut in here with a polite cough. "You shouldn't encourage him to repeat himself you know- he does this quite often. THANK-YOU LITANY" he said "That is quite sufficient for now".

The bird looked rather crestfallen, and continued repeating its discourse though quietly to itself now.

"Now, let us get back to your last remark".

"I am afraid that I don't remember it" said GiGi.

"Well, that's no good at all" said Don Churchillion "Being afraid of remarks, is quite simply something that Churchillion's DO NOT DO. Now, just take a good look at me. I am one who has descended from a Great Leader. You know I am, mayhap you'll never see such another, and to show you I'm not proud, you may shake hands with me."

He smiled, and looked rather pleased with himself, but no hand appeared.

"Yes, I have Churchillian ears, you know. If I need to get the answers to anything at all then we all get together and we decide what to do about it. Only the other day, we were all in a cabinet, and discussing the ways of this and that, and how the numbers didn't add up, and we decided that it just was not good enough- and that something should be done, and all in all we decided that it was a funny Business".

At this, the Bird piped up " You see, that's what I said. I know Don Churchillion's Business, and your Business, and Tweedleton's Business..."

"EXCUSE ME PLEASE BOTH OF YOU" GiGi interrupted "I apologise for cutting in, but perhaps both of you would be so kind as to enlighten me as to what exactly my Busines is?"

They both looked at each other, and Don Churchillion spoke...

"But, you already know this- you said it yourself in the poem!"

"I did?" said GiGi.

"Oh, dear me". Don Churchillion shook his head, seconded by the Litany Bird, who then whispered in his ear.

Don Churchillion spoke. "If you had all of the numbers and then took one away, what would you have?"

"I'm sorry, what numbers?" said GiGi.

"The numbers. The ones that don't add up." said Don Churchillion.

"But, that doesn't make sense" said GiGi "If the numbers don't add up, then how can you ask someone to take one away?".

"Well there you are, that's what I said. " said Don Churchillion "You are a clever girl- we agree with each other!".

GiGi tried another tack "You mentioned that I said it myself in the poem?" They both nodded at once.

"What, exactly, did I say in the poem?"

"Oh, dear me!" Don Churchillion and the Litany Bird shook their heads in tandem. "Shall I repeat myself? " said Litany "NO!" said Don Churchillion. "I shall SPELL IT OUT FOR HER".

"GiGi, Dear Girl. Your Business is to enable Mrs Cameraman to come back home."

They looked at each other and sighed ("She's picked a dim one here") was said as an aside.

"You have a broom, don't you?"

GiGi did, and she said so-

"Well, the 'Ware-of-All' needs defeating quite clearly, and what is more- all the nay-natterers are in the Purgatree right now- so you can go about your Business freely! Now, we don't think that you intend to stay here the rest of your life; so, Good-Bye!". Don Churchillion promptly shut his eyes tightly.

At this, both turned around, and waved in unison stating again "Good-Bye!".

GiGi thought about speaking, but at that moment was interrupted by the deafening sound of stomping feet...

And that's the end for tonight, dear Emily. 

Sleep tight, dream nice dreams,

Your ever-loving Grand-mother, GiGi,   


xxxx



 














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